2021 has been a tumultuous and emotionally brutal year. Covid-19 has dominated the narrative, and many are emotionally fatigued and despondent as a result of social distancing, social isolation and major lifestyle adjustments. Every aspect of life has been impacted in some way by the stress and challenges With the new year fast approaching, many of you may use this time for reflection, and see the new year as an opportunity for growth and personal development. January is typically the time when people begin to set New Year’s Resolutions – a commitment to yourself, to change something about yourself or your lifestyle. But how many actually stick to these resolutions, even when life felt less oppressive?

Resolution VS Intention

When you make a resolution, they are often based on a statement to change something or achieve something – to lose weight, to run 5k or learn to play an instrument, for example – and are often born of negative thoughts and feelings you might have towards yourself. You can already begin to understand why, by the end of February (or January!) you might follow your resolutions by beginning to feel bad about failing with the end result of giving up. 

At the end of 2020 it may feel tiring and jarring to sit in reflection and make new commitments for 2021. However, setting an intention empowers you to decide what you want and how you want to experience life.

In this blog, you will learn how to set an intention, rather than a resolution and understand how this can help you to achieve your goals by bringing your visions to life.

Step 1: Reflect on your year

Think about the things you have accomplished this year. This year has been difficult in general. Focus on the efforts you have made this year in career, academics, relationships, family, finances, personal development health and fitness. Challenge yourself in this reflection to give yourself credit for effort this year, remember to be kind to yourself as you are taking in the context of the many constraints this year brought. For example, you may be able to commend yourself for paying better attention to your mental health this year. The last part of this step is to write down the motivation for following through on this accomplishment. For example, "I recognize that good mental health dictates my overall health I was motivated to re-enroll in therapy to examine my anxieties and depression triggers this year because I would like to experience more consistent joy in my life."

Step 2: Take inventory

Take inventory of this past year and attempt to be as objective as possible without excessive self-judgment. Ask yourself these questions as you are taking inventory:

o   From this year, in what areas did you operate in fear or how did you hold yourself back?

o   What would you have done differently?

o   If you had no fear, doubt, shame or emotional scars what would you have done?

o   In what areas in your life have you grown? How?

o   How are you more self-aware and more compassionate to yourself this year than last?

o   What are you most appreciative and grateful for this year?

o   What lessons have you learned in 2021?

o   If you were your own best friend what advice would you give yourself?

Step 3: Refine your intentions

Look back at the first 2 steps and examine your accomplishments for this year and your list of inventory. From here, ask yourself what are the areas in your life that need revitalization and an injection of joy! Questions to ask yourself as you are refining your intentions are:

o   What brings me joy?

o   Who are other joyful people in my life that I would like to share more joy filled moments with?

o   Who are the people I may need to purge from my life or limit my contact with this year? Why?

o   What are the things that clutter my physical space and throw my focus, concentration and anxiety off?

o   What are the thought patterns that I am fixated on that are not helpful to me feeling good about myself?

o   What areas of my life would I like to grow or focus on more mindfully this year?

o   What fear or restrictive feeling/emotions would I like to get rid of this year?

o   What patterns in my life would I like to slowly start to break up with this year?

o   What would I like to look back in 2022 and be proud of?

Step 4: Write out your intentions

Keep your intentions positive and as if they are already accomplished and real; writing down intentions in this way re-wires your brain to start thinking that your intentions, thoughts, emotions and behaviors are already aligned. After you have written down your intention write down your action steps connected to your intention. Some guidelines for writing your intentions are to:

o   Avoid thinking in black and white or with perfectionistic lens.

o   Write down intentions as "I am" or " I expect" or "I am willing to"

o   Avoid overthinking.

o   Make your action steps realistic and attainable.

For example:

Intention: I am healthy inside and outside.

Action Step: I will join Weight Watchers and follow the program with my weight watcher community.

Action Step: I will take 20 minutes per day to meditate to increase my self awareness ad reduce my anxiety

Action Step: I will read body positive affirmations to myself in the mirror once per day to improve my body image.

Intention: I deserve healthy relationships.

Action Step: I will reach out to my friends at least once per week to check in on them. I will make a more concentrated effort to tell them I love them and care about them to strengthen our emotional connection.

Action Step: I will create a list of my core needs in an intimate relationship to get to know my needs a bit better.

Action Step: I will create an online dating profile- setting the filters for the man/woman I desire in order to more seriously dates.

Step 5: Hold yourself Accountable

Think about how you will hold yourself accountable in inhabiting your intentions for 2022. You can certainly share your intentions with close friends and have an intention check in once a month or every three months. These check-ins should be done in the spirit of positive motivation, constructive feedback, encouragement and without shame or criticism. You can also post your intentions by your work space on sticky notes or on mirrors that you will intentionally read every day. You might consider writing out your intentions in a journal and each week write down the action steps you have taken for the week to reinforce your intentions. This is an important step in keeping in alignment with your intentions- remember out of sight- out of mind. Develop a check in system with yourself so that you are mindfully working on your intention all throughout the year!

Step 6: Shift limiting beliefs

This is something most are guilty of – but not believing that your intention is actually possible for you can actually impact the chances of your intention becoming reality. Giving in to negative thought patterns can mean you’re less likely to accept opportunities as they arise, too. It isn’t easy, but there are steps you can take to reframe your mindset to ensure that your beliefs align to what you truly desire. Every time you catch yourself thinking something negative, learn to challenge that thought, and replace it with something positive. Circling back to steps 4 and 5 can help refocus your thoughts on the can rather than the can’t.

Don’t forget, there’s no harm in setting a resolution and working towards that goal, but this year why not release yourself from the pressure or achieving a set goal and see how setting an intention can make a difference to you?

As you take this time to reflect and set your intentions for 2022, remember that change happens incrementally and that behavioral and habitual changes happens with relapses and some setbacks. Whenever you have a setback you can always become aware and get back on track as many times as it takes to build the habit over time! Remember to give yourself grace and compassion in this exercise!

Wishing only Peace, Prosperity and Well-Being For You In 2022 and beyond!